A Tool for Manipulation
by The Wanlorn
Summary: Another talky-thing, set after the second episode of the 2002-03 season, 'Trust Me'.


**A Tool For Manipulation**

(A/N:  Well, maybe I'll make a habit of writing one of these after every new episode.  I don't know.  But here's another one.  Thanks to the people who reviewed my last fic, 'The Sun Will Come' (even though the show completely sabotaged the original and the one I posted was a complete reworking…grr…I'm still mad…) My one fear is making Sydney seem…whiny…Someone warn me if I start doing that, okay?  Read, review, and enjoy.  Over and out.  Just kidding!  Is it just me, or did they change the beginning of 'Alias'?  And is there a pattern I'm missing for the coloration of the letters in the names of places?  I.e.: lonDon, aliaS…)

Disclaimer:  Let's see…out of the two characters, only…none of them…are mine.  Hear that?  They all belong to their makers.  Whoever that is.  The songs belong to the denoted bands.  If I forget to go search it, I don't know if the last one is a real song, but it was in…I think, Midnight, by Dean Koontz.  So, if it's not a real song, it belongs to him.  Hearts in Atlantis is a real book, by Stephen King.  The quote is said to Bobby by good ol' Ted Brautigan (damn, I love that guy!).  I get no money from this, and I'm broke, so don't ask me for money.  You can have all the candy wrappers currently residing on my floor.  On with the show…

'Behind the beauty, cracks appear

Once with heads held high

They sang out to the sky

Why do their shadows bow in fear…'

            RUSH - 'Beneath, Between, & Behind'

            Vaughn settled back in the chair in front of his TV, making himself more comfortable.  His mind wasn't on the movie he was watching, however, but on Sydney.  She had been having a tough month.  Very tough, and Vaughn was sick of not being able to do anything about it.  Since his most recent near-death experience, he had gotten overly sick of the system, of their jobs.  Each time he almost died, life became a bit more precious to him, and he didn't want to waste it anymore.  He wanted…he wanted everything he couldn't have.

'Some are born to move the world-

To live their fantasies

But most of us just dream about

The things we want to be…'

            RUSH - 'Losing It'

            After Sydney had come back from talking to her mother a second time, she was a mess.  Nobody else could see it, but if he looked hard enough, he could see it deep in her eyes.  He could feel the tiny bulk of his newest cell phone on his hip.  It was right against his skin, and slim enough so it couldn't be seen by anyone who didn't know what they were looking for.  One of his friends, a very reliable guy who would immediately be thrown in jail if he could be found, had mailed it to him through many go-betweens.  The guy was a brilliant computer hacker/inventor/genius.  He was able to make Vaughn the totally awesome cell phone, which was rare, because as far as the friend was concerned, Vaughn worked for the bad guys.  The friend was a total anarchist to the death.

            Vaughn tried to turn his attention to 'Ghost's of Mars', but he couldn't.  Damn, he wanted to talk to Sydney!  He debated talking a 'walk' - even though it was almost dark - and calling her.  They hadn't really talked after the latest incident with her mother.

'The world weighs on my shoulders

But what am I to do?

You sometimes drive me crazy-

But I worry about you…"

            RUSH - 'Distant Early Warning'

            He had actually stood up and turned off the TV, when the tiny phone vibrated against his hip.

            He took it out and flipped it open.  "Vaughn"

            "Hi."  It was an uncertain greeting, at best.

            "Hey.  You want to meet somewhere?"  He hid his excitement at hearing her beautiful voice.

            "Yeah."

            "Okay."  He gave her directions to a park nearby.  "See you there."

            Vaughn left the light on and went out, locking his door behind him.

/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\

'You feel there's something calling you

You're wanting to return

To where the misty mountains rise

And friendly fires burn

A place you can escape the world

Where the dark lord can not go…'

            RUSH - 'Rivendell'

            Vaughn waited patiently for Sydney to show up, hoping that she wouldn't get lost.  When he saw her, he felt his heart do a double beat.  _Damn_, did she look good!  At least, from far away.  As she got closer, he saw the strain on her face, the puffy eyes that said she had been crying.

            He was sitting on a bench, and Sydney sat next to him.  Vaughn turned so he was slanted, so he could face her.  They had said nothing, yet, not even a greeting.  Vaughn reached out a hand and gently brushed her hair away from her face and behind her ears, the way she usually liked it.  He wanted to run his hand through her silky straight hair, so he pulled back, returning his hand to his lap.

            "How are you doing?"

            It was a simple question, but he said it in such a gentle, caring voice, that it opened the floodgates.  As tears streamed down Sydney's face, she didn't make a sound.  She had perfected the art of silent crying.  Vaughn stared for a moment before reacting.  He put an arm around her shoulder and moved closer, pulling her to lean on his shoulder.  She shuddered in his arms, crying on his shoulder.  Vaughn rubbed her back soothingly, letting her cry.  He did not offer soothing words, not really knowing anything to say, just offered his friendly presence.

            When she stopped, he used his sleeves to wipe the tears off her face.  He wished he had a tissue or handkerchief to offer her, but he didn't.  Sydney briefly rested her head on his shoulder, then sat up.  But she didn't move away.

            "I told her…  I told her to stop everything.  That I was Agent Bristow, not her daughter.  That my mother was dead.  That…I told her to cut the bullshit."

'The hypocrites are slandering 

The sacred halls of Truth

Ancient nobles showering

Their bitterness on youth…'

            RUSH - 'A Farewell to Kings'

            Vaughn hugged Sydney with one arm.  She had lost her mother for a second time.  He knew, by watching her, that she was still unsure of him, of what her mother had done to his family, of how he would still react, and it hurt.  She was not her mother, and could not be held accountable for her mother's crimes.  Especially not at this time, when she so needed him to be there for her.

            "I don't know if I did the right thing, Vaughn.  I mean…she _is_ my mother…and…"

            No, Syd, no.  That woman is _not_ your mother.  Her body may be the same, but her personality isn't.  Your mother didn't kill all those people, shoot you in the shoulder, or murder my family.  _Your_ mother died in a car accident years ago."

            Sydney looked at him with bleak eyes.  "As I was leaving, I looked back, and she looked pleased.  I don't think she saw me looking back, but she looked pleased.  Why would that please her, Vaughn?"

            Vaughn gave into temptation and ran his hand through her silky soft hair, ending by cupping her cheek.  "I don't know, Sydney.  She's an Evil person.  Evil with a capital E.  Maybe you played into her hands somehow.  Maybe she came up with some evil diabolical plan.  I don't know.  But don't ever doubt that you did the right thing."

            Sydney leaned into the caress, that being more than Vaughn had ever offered her before.  They watched each other, stared into the other's eyes, searching for something, close to each other.  Suddenly aware of their positions, they both pulled back, but still stayed in contact.  Vaughn did not know what he would do if he ever lost her, which prompted him to say the next thing, as foolish as it was.

            "Sydney," he said quietly.  "I know this is a totally unrelated topic, and about me and not you, but do me a favor."

            "What?" she asked, curious.

            An image of when Sydney was out on the balcony, and Sloane was heading for the doors flashed in front of his eyes.  Only by tripping one of the waiters had he distracted Sloane long enough to give her a chance to get over the railing and down the building.

            "Next time I tell you the bad guys are coming, just get out of there.  You're life's more important…"

            Sydney smiled at him, the change drastic from the dour face she had worn before.  "But I did it, didn't I?  I got the deice?"  She exhibited all the pride of an agent doing a job well done.

            Vaughn couldn't help but return her smile.  When they were alone, she affected him like that.  That just made Sydney smile wider, because smiles so rarely graced Vaughn's lips.  "Yeah, Syd, you did it, but nearly gave me a heart attack in the process."

            "Glad to know you care," she said, resting her head on his shoulder.  They were out in the open, yet surrounded by trees, so surveillance would be difficult.  Tiny displays of affection were okay here.

            Vaughn, in turn, rested his cheek briefly atop her head.  God, did he love Sydney.  He was sure she felt the same of him.  He briefly wondered how she would react if he suggested running away and forging new identities for themselves, but quickly dropped that chain of thought.  It was merely wishful thinking, impractical, and impossible to achieve.

            Sydney lifted her head up to look into his eyes.  She was positive nobody was around, nobody was spying on them.  She wondered if she could steal a quick kiss, and how Vaughn would react.  Would it be worth it, no matter how he reacted?  Vaughn didn't break their gaze, looking into her beautiful brown eyes steadily.  He found himself bending down his head, and Sydney stretching up slightly, lifting her face.  Their lips met, and brushed hesitantly across each other, gentle and feather-light.  The two were hesitant, and unsure.

            Then the kiss deepened.  Vaughn's tongue flicked out to lick her lips, and she opened her mouth without a thought, allowing him access.  Their tongues fenced and dueled; exploring corners of the other's mouth that light would never reach.  Sydney almost moaned in need, as Vaughn felt himself growing hard.

            Suddenly aware of what they were doing, of the situation they were in, and suddenly self-conscious, both pulled back at the same moment and slightly turned away, trying to regain their composure.  They both got themselves pulled together at relatively the same time, too, and turned back.

            Vaughn saw the understanding in Sydney's eyes, understanding of why they couldn't do this, and regret.  He was sure it mirrored the look in his own.

'Pleasure leaves a fingerprint

As surely as mortal pain

In memories they resonate

And echo back again…'

            RUSH - 'Scars'

            "And it will be the kiss by which all others are measured," Sydney said quietly.

            "What?"

            She laughed softly.  "Sorry.  I'm reading Hearts in Atlantis.  It's a line from the book."

            "I'm sorry, Sydney."

            "You have nothing to be sorry for."  She allowed a hand to briefly caress his face.  "I have to go home and try to sleep."

            "Syd, I think you should seriously consider the vacation I was talking about.  Us agents probably have the highest burnout rate…"

            "I will.  Don't worry about me.  I'll see you later, Vaughn."

            As Vaughn watched Sydney walk away, in his mind, images began to flash by.  They were ways that their feelings for each other could be used against each other.  At times, love was nothing but a tool for manipulation.  Vaughn wished there was an easy answer to all of their problems, but there wasn't.  For now, they would just have to live with them.

'Nothing lasts forever

Even love's a lie

A tool for manipulation

There's no God beyond the sky…"

*Fin*


End file.
